Charmed
by CharmedReality
Summary: As Conrad looked at the deep, blue charm, it was impossible not to think of the woman who once wore it. Conrad/Julia


**Charmed**

Sword-calloused fingers turned the deep blue pendant over. It was a beautiful necklace which shimmered in the afternoon sunlight. When he looked closely he could see the embedded sprig of flowers—captured and preserved for all time.

It was impossible not to think of the woman who wore the necklace, with or without the reminder. She had shone more than a simple jewel ever could. It was as if she emitted a glow from within. Julia the white. She was radiant. It would have been easy to hate her if it hadn't been so impossible not to love her.

Conrad's eyes closed, shutting out the day's fading light for a brighter memory. He could still feel the way the breeze fluttered through his hair that day. And dew was clinging to the blades of grass so they clung to his boots ever so slightly.

-o-o-o-

There were only a few hours remaining before the Rutenberg army would depart. So many untrained men were ready to follow him into battle. How many would follow him home again? Or would he be carried?

They had the heart, but not the numbers or equipment or experience. But wasn't it Julia who always spoke of the power of the heart?

Almost as if she could sense his thoughts, she appeared and his thoughts of the impending battle dispersed like oil in water.

She seemed to glide over the land even as the hem of her dress grew damp from the early morning dew. There was no railing or wall to guide her, but she walked directly to him. Her steps lacked the caution one might have expected from someone in her situation, but a casual strange would never have guessed she was blind.

In truth, it was easy to forget. She saw more clearly than most people he knew. When those pale blue eyes turned in his direction he was sure he had no secrets from her. He was sure she knew the way he felt.

And yet she didn't turn away in disgust or admonish him for inappropriate thoughts regarding a woman who was engaged to another noble. But it was only his thoughts that were impure. He longed to act on them. Every time she was near him and he could touch her hand and breathe in her scent, he wanted to crush her body to his and lose himself in her arms.

But he was never so daring and never so brave or foolish as that. He knew his place even if she would never put him in it.

His breath caught in his throat for just a moment as she reached out and touched his chest. It was a simple act, meant only to guide her into stopping at the right position. But his traitorous mind longed for it to mean more and be more. Her fingertips felt so light and gentle there. But his arms remained fixedly at his side and he quietly watched her remove the necklace that had hung at her neck for as long as he'd known the woman.

He inclined toward her only slightly when she reached around his neck. It had surprised him, but Julia always surprised him. If ever he thought he had come to fully understand her actions and words, she would surely do something unpredictable.

"It is a good luck charm. I'm sure it will protect you."

The soldier touched the pendent and parted his lips to protest such a gift although protesting it was the last thing he wanted to do. But before he could speak, she was lifting herself up on her toes again, and guiding him toward her with those soft, but persuasive hands.

Conrad felt as if his entire body had come to a sudden, jerking halt as his breath and heart froze in place. And then he felt the gentle press of her lips on his and he was reborn.

For once, and only once, as his every impulse screamed at him to reach out and hold her, he followed through, gathering her in his arms. She was a strong woman, but she felt delicate to him and he silently swore to himself he would always protect such a woman no matter what happened—even though he would surely have to do so as a ghost.

Once their kiss broke, she did not try to pull away from his embrace. Instead she rested her face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Her arms encircled his shoulders as his encircled her waist. They remained still, but if there had been music and swaying, it would have looked very much like a dance.

He didn't ask her why. He didn't speak at all except to say her name and he could feel her lips curving into a smile against his skin. It was a feeling he would never forget.

-o-o-o-

Conrad opened his eyes again as the memory drifted back into the not so deep recesses of his mind.

It still haunted him. After all, Julia had no regrets. That was what they told him. That was why her soul was a perfect, pure sphere, suitable for their future maou—for Yuuri.

But she had known her fate in advance, hadn't she? That was certainly Shinou's way. He would tell her as a sign of respect only to watch her play out her days with the death sentence looming over her every word and action.

So, she didn't regret being with him…or leaving him behind.

Was it only because her path and purpose had been so clear? Did she believe it was the only way to save the ones she…

His thought trailed off before it was able to insert the word love. Of course the woman had brimmed with love for her family and her friends. But he couldn't use that word with her. Did it apply to him? Did it apply to Aldebert? They were questions he needed left unanswered.

Yes, she must have believed it was the only way to protect the ones she cared about.

He gazed down into the blue pendent again. Her words came back to him. "It is a good luck charm. I'm sure it will protect you." And it did. But it should have been protecting her.

He should have been protecting her.

And no amount of destiny or shared blame would alleviate that guilt. His hand closed around the necklace tightly. He was sure on the day he died that if anyone should lay eyes upon his soul, it would be very flawed indeed.


End file.
